I had been in a difficult circumstance, specifically for over a decade, but also before that. I believed a lot of wrong things and participated in things I very much regret now. I thought that was just how life was and that I was doing the best with what I had. I believed appearances to be fact. I kept waiting for God to just magically intervene and make everything better and He did not. So I was at a continual standstill within myself. I saw no end to what I was going through. And then it got worse.
But their authenticity just shone this enormous light over my entire life. Even when we parted ways that light just kept shining brighter and brighter and I gained so much hindsight on so many things.
I learned that I could leave my circumstances and be okay. I learned that there are times God does not intervene or especially allow others to help me because I was the one given the grace to overcome my challenges. I learned that I had believed so many wrong things but that I still had the opportunity to believe the right things. I learned that my life will never be my own again, that this hero utterly redeemed me in more ways than are easily acknowledged.
I learned that sometimes life can still suck after such a miracle. People still bully me and I still have some of the same difficulties as ever. But now I know that I don’t have to choose to engage with mean people. I learned that their world is as small as mine used to be and that it is okay for me to move on to a larger perspective that has more character and truth and wisdom and love.
I learned that the people who have been the source of my worst pain had more pain happen to them than I ever fathomed. It doesn’t mean that there is much of a way to get along with them, but it does mean that forgiveness comes quite easily. It takes a lot of pain to become someone who causes others pain. I learned there are so many ways to destroy a small child from multiple directions in their life without ever laying a physical hand on them.
I learned that part of the reason my life has been redeemed is that I have lives to redeem. I am not the only one to be in the matrix of heartache I was in and now I better know how to find and be kind to others. I know what my hero did. I know how that person probably does not think much of their kindness but I know how profound it was to me. I know how infinitely important it is to be kind to others so that they can know the happy thoughts I have come to know from that person’s kindness.
I learned that when the Bible says to overcome evil with good, that it is a mindset and an action that I choose, not something I necessarily wait on God to do. Maybe there are circumstances that I cannot change and I have to wait on God for that, but I can change my perspective of them and what I choose to learn from them. I can choose to search for what lesson I need to learn from heartache instead of resigning to hopelessness and dread. I learned that God gave me more strength and grace than I ever realized was present within me. I learned that people I may have esteemed in the past as positive had far more strength and grace than I ever gave them credit for, especially my hero.
I learned that sometimes realizing one person is your hero helps you to better recognize other heroes. Whether it is a priest or a soldier or someone you don’t especially know as an individual but know how their life has impacted yours, our reality is full of personal heroes if we choose to recognize them.
I learned that my life is of course my own responsibility but is also a team effort. I cannot do this alone and God never asked me to. I need to own my grace and make my own decisions but when I do make those decisions there will be others to help me and others I need to help. I learned that even strangers can easily become a powerful community of hope. Sometimes you do not have to get to know a person because their actions and their presence and their authenticity are evident enough. We are all capable of knowing a great deal of insight within a very short period of time given this sort of context.
I learned I am grateful. I am so happy to know I was wrong about so much. The truth may hurt at first but it is the best thing ever. Where there is truth, there is love. Where there is love, there is truth. Wrong beliefs may attach themselves and try to pervert the appearance of things sometimes, but authentic truth and authentic love will ultimately be found if you authentically seek to know them.
I learned that being a hero is inherent to our purpose. Each of us has a gift within us to change our realities for the better. Even if you are in a circumstance where you cannot change others, you can change the world within yourself. You’ve got this!
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