When do you know you are being breadcrumbed?
The ‘ole slow fade.
What are the signs?
- Well, if you are asking, then you already know the answer. Your gut is telling you. YOU KNOW.
Yet here are more signs:
2. More time in between texts.
3. Different tone in messages (disinterested, not as lively, less emojis).
4. Avoiding certain topics.
5. No plans to meet up again.
6. Making endless excuses.
7. Skipping days in between communication.
8. No more “good morning” or “good night” messages.
9. Having to “pull teeth” for the most basic of conversations.
10. Messages sent are left “unread” for days at a time.
It’s time to protect your heart (or what’s left of it). It’s worse if you have the feels and they don’t *which is usually the shit sandwich you are eating.
It’s time to walk away with a tiny bit of your dignity left intact. You don’t need to read the “I need to work on my marriage” message.
No more being delusional.
It’s the end of your affair.
Bread crumbs are possibly a way to make the ending more “humane” by giving hints that the end is coming.
It may be the organic fizzling out of a relationship or a unilateral pulling of the plug. Doesn’t matter. Either way, it sucks.
An affair is NOT a primary relationship. It is usually built on a bed of sand. If people could communicate effectively, they probably wouldn’t be cheating. Being immature and showing a lack of respect is par for the course in most affairs. Or, it could be a coward’s way of hoping you will break up with them first so they don’t have to pull the trigger.
What you can do:
- Keep your “logical” brain aware that this relationship will end. There is an infinitesimal percentage it won’t, but better to plan for the inevitable.
- Live in the moment and enjoy the ride!
- Don’t wrap your self-esteem and all your free time around this person.
- Keep up your friendships, activities, and life no matter what.
- Invest in yourself. Be the best you can be.
- You don’t put up with poor treatment from an affair partner.
Does your affair partner remember your schedule, birthday, and likes and dislikes? If they pay attention through words and actions, you have a winner. When they are consistent and showing devotion — then you don’t ever feel the need to question their motives.
NO PLAYING GAMES WITH SOMEONE’S HEAD AND HEART.
And if they are playing around, it’s time to call a “time out.”
A good rule of thumb is that an affair should make you feel good more often than it makes you feel bad. If the tide is turning to disagreements, miscommunications, or withdrawal, something is wrong.
So, if you are being “breadcrumbed” but want a resolution, be proactive and send a note, “Nice to know you, but it’s time for me to say goodbye.”
…
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Dovile Ramoskaite on Unsplash
