There can always be disagreements when we give meaning to words. I’ve come to believe that they come with a much denser sense than they could have. And they might not have that much sense after all. Not that we don’t feel, but words insist on saying things we didn’t even mean. Words slip away.
They are somewhat misunderstood. But who said they need to be understood, explained, compared? They can just have a sketch, a scribble. They can be half words. Is that enough? Words are always full of everything. I doubt these everythings. Poor word “love.” It needs to be eternal. To be felt beyond life. I like words that last as long as they need to. And where is the strength of the word “love”? Love doesn’t have strength, love has gentleness. I’m not sure if this is the word.
Words have weight and measure. Words have so many things. They have assumptions, concepts, significances. What’s the most important word for you? Find other words to explain why. And the word “time”? When someone says — let’s take a break — how much of this time can be understood? Word is medicine. How many doses of words per day are necessary?
Perhaps we cannot know the intensity of the word “life.” Is it beautiful? How much? If there is suffering, people may not understand the sense of this beauty. It can become fleeting. It can cease to be. What words will be used to judge those who no longer find beauty in living?
Are the words strong or is it me who gives strength and meaning to them? How much do they fill and suffocate me? How much do they put me in the void? How much do they say about me or about what I want to say?
When I want to stay silent, I need to express words to say that I need quietness, but it’s not complete silence. It’s just less noise, less friction. I want words, but few.
You need to be strong, persistent, decisive. What strength do these words have against my weakness on any given day when what I needed the most were sweet words and not strong ones?
Not every day is beautiful, the gentle is affectionate, the rude pushes me away. Time passes and words pass too. There are days I let them go. Others I keep them as the memory of a kiss. Life has already left us speechless. Words have already attracted and betrayed us.
How much power do we give them? Their owners may not have created or written them to touch or affect us. They just let them be said. There’s so much we didn’t want to say and the words said. And they pushed us away, and they judged us.
Maybe we need to save words. Because no matter how much we speak, what we say may not be what the other wants to hear and feel. No one knows what’s in the heart of the mouths that say so many words. We can fill ourselves with them and still remain empty.
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© 2024 Lost in My Soul
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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